Title: Baby Show
Gear: Lumix S5ii with 50mm FD
I love my doll. Her name is Annabell and she scares the living shits out of me. She sits in my bedroom watching me as I go through my day. So, I kinda do hate her.
The other day, I mean, on April 21st, I decided I wanted to create a photo that didn’t sit right with me. So I grabbed the trusty Sam Adam’s beer bottle labeled “BEER” that had been sitting on my right desk speaker since my failed comedy start; the old soccer chairs that I used to sit on while watching my sisters play soccer; and I grabbed Annabell.
“Where should I shoot this photo?” I quietly asked myself.
“Oh yeah my basement looks like someone died in it.”
So down the staircase of my nightmares I went, and walked, until I reached the dark basement room that I used to think was haunted—I still do. Then I decided that I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, and sprinted to put the chair and the baby in their places.
In my haste to escape following the photoshoot, I accidentally left the chair in that room facing the wall.
A few weeks later, I heard a scream followed by a loud yell from my mother.
“Who the fuck left a chair in the scary room in the basement?”
I didn’t respond.
Maybe it was Annabell.
Why didn’t I use this photo?
Because I thought it looked ugly.
Do you notice the weird colors? No? Well you are blind my friend.
The photo is completely yellow. Even the dark red ceiling or the green chair, both colors that should add to the grade, are completely invisible. Not only that, but if you look at the first image, and then this image, there is much less distortion. I shot this on a Lumix S5ii with a lens from 1972—a classic 50mm. And when I typically take a photo, the image comes out all wonky and tonky.
But is this wonky and tonky?
No it is not wonky and tonky.
So I decided, I’ll try again.
→
The next iteration came like a sequel to a movie we all hated.
The colors were still horrible, and not only that, but you can see I tried to fix the orange hue with the beloved lightroom blue-yellow slider. And nope, it did not work whatsoever.
But not only that, I changed the framing—to fucking shit aparently. The photo is portrait, or hotdog style for those who haven’t yet graduated first grade. And while there is a cool reflection, and maybe some potential for a cool crop, it didn’t hit me as a photo I wanted to keep.
Something about it felt too odd yet too normal. And it showed off that we don’t paint our floors in the basement enough.
→
I added a doll. Then I tried again, kept the yellows, and still hated it.
The doll’s name is Annabell as you know. She is my child—in a completely normal and not weird nor freaky way. She represents everything I spend my life trying to be: fear inducing while being regular. And while she does it a whole lot better than me, I don’t really try. I’m not salty.
I threw the doll, Annabell, onto the ground with her back, and her box against the wall.
I immediately decided that I wanted this photoshoot to be over as soon as I could. I wasn’t scared.
This photo sucked.
1/20
This was the final image. The distortion is widely visible. To be honest, I don’t know exactly how I got that distortion. I think I played with taking a step back while shooting it or moving it slightly, but to be honest it could have just been post production manipulation.
The execution aside, the intent was spot on. The image feels insecure and wobbly. Not only that but it makes the photo feel like an inaccurate narrator to a story that feels uncomfortable.
And the doll character facing a chair generally freaks me out.
The framing of this one is most definitely cropped. I’d assume that the original image included more of the room like the last photo in the sequence.
Regardless of all the physical aspects, or the emotional responses, we can all agree that this photo is one of the weirder decisions made at 2 AM for most of us. Because while the photo looks bright on camera, for the few of us who have actually been to my basement, we know that it’s truly much darker down there.