I fell off the rock wall. It wasn’t a crazy fall and I didn’t break anything. Truth be told I didn’t truly fall, I kinda chucked myself off the wall. I didn’t want to fall on my giant metal water bottle or my phone that I had taken a few minutes to set up below the climb. I’m climbing the “easy” V3 green. I say “easy” in quotation marks because I’m tired and I suck so everything is much more difficult than advertised.

It has also been brought to my attention that I look like I have a wedgie. I will neither confirm nor deny that accusation, however I would like to request that the public refrains from creating any misdirected speculation regarding my pants and underpants choice. There were mistakes made today.

If you look above me, you see the ceiling. And if you look below me, you can’t. If you look to the right of me, there is a wall. And if you look to the left of me, you can’t. I’m perfectly obtuse as I like to say—meaning I’m large.

If there are any more questions anyone has regarding my outfit or climbing failures, please reach out to me at orenwaxman.com.

Thank you.